2015-03-19 / Editorial Page

Dear Hearts and Gentle People

Pet peeves
By MICKIE MCGEE

Due to an illness in her family, we are running one of Mrs. McGee’s older columns this week.

To keep you dear hearts from becoming complacent about society’s little irritants, I am sharing with you my most recent list of pet peeves (things that really tick me off.) 

Political correctness

People with lots of knowledge and no imagination

Poems that don’t rhyme

Public restroom stalls that swing inward instead of out. My skirt has become a wick more times than I can count.

 People who Christmas shop in summer. Get a job. Better still, get a life.

 People who celebrated Halloween as kids but refuse to let their children do the same. Lighten up.

The term “My bad!” What does that mean? My bad. My bad what? My bad vocabulary?

Tables and chairs in elementary classrooms. I’d love to meet whoever thought that one up and award him a “Visit-a-First-Grade- Class-for-a-Day” coupon.

 Court TV. I flipped the remote to one of those for a few seconds and could literally feel what little intellect I have being sucked right out of me.

 Daylight savings time. Of all the stupid…

Prices of clothes. $40 for a blouse! It’s sinful. I say bring back flour sack couture.

Why is there a Stop Smoking Day and no Stop Drinking Day?

People who complain about being broke all the time yet buy everything under the sun. Hey, if you’ve got the cash or if you don’t, we don’t care!

Hard rock music

People who feel the need to pass me on the road endangering my life and theirs, at any cost, and then you pull up right behind them at the next light.

Making a big deal about report card averages in K-2 grades. Look, I figure if they go to school with smiles on their faces, can count to 100, learn to say their ABCs and not to soil their underpants, then have mercy, what more do you want of these little guys?

That there are no bustling businesses in every store that lines downtown Lincolnton…I get depressed just riding through town on Saturdays.

That we hear “Go Big Red” more than we do “Go Red Devils” because some think the devil mascot denotes evil. (Here’s a hint: The Red Devil logo is a CARTOON!) The real Satan is much more sinister than that. He is beautiful and comes as an “angel of light.” Hence, we are more easily deceived. Check out the Good Book.

That there are precious few stores in Lincolnton where you can take things home “on approval” and can charge and pay by the month. (Thank God for Wengrows.)

Two homecoming queens? It’s just silly. Life’s tough. Learn to take defeat.

Clerks who take calls from customers when I’m standing at the counter ready to pay.

Our society’s obsession with weight. Do you take up two seats in the movie theater? Do you find yourself stuck in doorways? No? Than what are you crabbing about?

People who walk around with water bottles ($1 a bottle and out of somebody’s tap, by the way) affixed to their hands. We know you are health conscious, so enough already, have a Coke and a smile!

Meetings…of any kind. I agree with the person who said, “If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve its full potential that word would be meetings.

Awards for perfect attendance. I have seen people show up at school in body casts to earn them. l Clocks without numbers.

Adults who had “perfect childhoods.” Liar, liar, pants on fire! My daddy used to say that when couples never quarrel with one another, one of them is unnecessary.

Audiences at LCHS stage productions who yell out, “Whoop, Whoop!” in lieu of simple applause.

 Small Alecs with low IQs.

 That everybody has a cell phone glued to his ear making verbal conversations old hat.

Little cliques in school. Didn’t like them when I was in school and don’t like them now. Why can’t we all just be friends?

I could go on and on but just how long would the faithful few of you who are still reading this stay with me?

Okay, I’ll give you a break…

‘Til next time, dear hearts….

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