A classmate of mine from my days at old Lincolnton High School responded to my previous column about cancer, “Almost Cut My Hair,” and she gave me permission to share her response. How well I remember her. Many a day we stood together in the line formed up for the lunchroom. We sat in the same classes and went to the same church, New Hope.

She helped me make my first, timid step into the social world. My Dad drove me to her home when I was around 12 to go to some school event. She was the first girl I ever opened a car door for ... that seems eons ago.

Right now, I’m looking at her photograph in my old annual, the Panorama. There she is on page 102, a head of thick shiny hair and a bright smile. That great heap of days known as the future lies ahead.

Graduation came in 1967, and from that point on we lost contact. Today, she and I have resumed our friendship, thanks in large part to my columns in the Lincoln Journal. Email is a wonderful thing, but cancer is a beast.

I’m sure many of you remember Janis Hawes. Married and having lived in Athens for 30 years, Janis Reynolds has been fighting the good fight against ovarian cancer. Like the woman in my column, Janis underwent chemotherapy and lost her hair.

Chemotherapy helps some patients stem the red tide called cancer but I have seen firsthand what it does to the struggling patient and it isn’t pretty. Many patients, in fact, choose to forsake chemo and let nature run its course. Janis, however, is taking cancer and chemo in stride and her attitude and words beautifully convey her brave battle. Her words, in fact, offer a beautiful message of grace and faith for 2010 and beyond.

“I loved your article in the Lincoln Journal, and certainly identified with hair loss. Last Christmas I had no hair, only fuzz, but had set myself the goal that the next Christmas, I would have hair. God obliged, and I have a head of “interesting” hair. I have always had coarse hair, thick and dark. I now have silky hair that is silver and straight on top and curly in the back with salt and pepper in the crown. Down near my neck are black curls. I look like my Yorkie with this mingled head of hair.

“Everyone told me God’s gift to me for enduring chemo would be a head of black curls. He knew, though, I’d be vain with beautiful black curls, so I have this interesting hair, which is most perplexing when I try to fix it. Being bald has real advantages. You can get dressed in half the time when you do not have to fix your hair. Now I am back to taking much longer to get dressed as I do not know what to do with this fluff of silky hair.”

Adding that a real drawback of being bald is that your head freezes, Janis wrote about the difficulty chemo’s hair loss brings.

“I cried and cried over the loss of my locks, and insisted I go after hours to my hairdresser to get my head buzzed. For weeks, I’d cry every time I’d look into the mirror.”

As a bald woman, Janis was so ashamed she wouldn’t let her husband or children see her without a head covering for weeks. Over time she learned to enjoy being bald. “I’m even considering cutting this silky hair and just wearing a wig forever more,” she said. “A woman’s hair seems to be her glory and it is very emotional to lose it; however, when you consider what a little price it is to pay for having chemo save your life, it is insignificant.”

Janis’s second granddaughter, Claire Elizabeth Sanders, is growing her hair long so she can have it cut to make a wig for a cancer patient. Her motivation is as earnest as it gets. She was devastated when her “Nana” lost her hair. “That is such a precious sacrifice on her part,” said Janis who has undergone a transformation.

“I use to look at women with such pity wearing those funny hats or going out in public completely bald and would just shake my head at their bravery. Now, I see that look of pity in the face of others who see me when I go without a wig or a hat.”

Janis, like many of us, observes that cancer is epidemic these days and no family seems immune to cancer’s devastating diagnosis. “I just heard of a young mother being diagnosed with breast cancer this week,” she said. “I hope your daughters, you, or your sisters and mother never have to experience this.”

She maintains a brave front, one fortified by that wonderful drug, humor. “I have joked about looking like Mr. Potato Head and Humpty Dumpty. Later, as the hair started to come in, I joked about looking like those games we had as kids with the metal shavings where you’d use a magnet to draw hair on the head. Now, I look like Mr. Magoo or Benjamin Franklin with a far lesser amount on top than in the back.”

Janis’ chemo nurses tell her one reason she survived 13 months of chemo is that she laughed and joked about her situation rather than dwelling on the negative and the inevitable prognosis of a shortened life. “I choose to be joyful and find humor in it all, for it would have been so easy to give in to devastation and self pity. Ovarian cancer does not usually have good results if the staging ends up being III or IV,” she wrote, “and mine was just days from stage IV. So if I die ‘young’, I want my family and close friends to remember me with laughter and joy rather than feeling sorry for me because I had cancer.”

Prior to having cancer, Janis, like many others, referred to cancer as the Big C. “I have learned on this journey that that is totally wrong.” “Christ is the Big C, and cancer is the little c, and He can conquer it for me either on this earth or in Heaven, and in the end, Heaven is where we long to be one day.”

Though it has not been a fun trip, it has taught Janis lessons. “I would not have missed the journey for anything for all I’ve learned, the people I have met, and the quiet time with my Heavenly Father. So many nights when I was in pain and could not sleep, I’d literally visualize being a little child hurting and climbing up in my Heavenly Father’s lap, and crying and telling Him all my hurts, fears, and asking for forgiveness for all my bad deeds. I could feel Him pull me close, put my head on His chest, and speak comforting words to me just as you would a hurting child. After our talks and His telling me which scriptures to read, I’d eventually fall asleep and get much needed rest.”

Janis does not regret those times with the Lord at all and writes that even though she has been a Christian since the age of 10, she’s never had sweeter times with the Lord than when she was so sick from chemo or in great pain from surgery or the internal chemo burn. “I would have praised Him anyway, but since cancer, I can praise Him with a depth of love and knowledge I never would have known had I not experienced this dreaded disease called ovarian cancer.”

Blessings to you in 2010,

Janis

Email Tom with feedback and ideas for new columns. tompol@ earthlink.net