Dear Hearts and Gentle People

If I didn't think our country had gone to the dogs before, I'm leaning that way now. Did any of you happen to see the video of the eight year old boy on Dr. Phil's show who slapped his mother in the face? I kid you not. He slapped her in the face!!

Seems Dr. Phil had the mother and the son sit in chairs facing one another in order to "discuss" some differences of opinions they were having. Well, I tuned in just as this eight year old tub of lard was whining at his mother because he had "accidentally" hit her and she elbowed him back. (I am not making this up.) He was enraged that she would do such a thing and was all red in the face, pointing his finger at her, yelling and interrupting her when she tried to speak.

I couldn't believe what I was seeing. This kid grits his teeth, then when his mother tries to speak, screams at her to "Shut up!" Cold chills went up my spine, partly because of sheer unbelief and partly because of a flashback of the time I simply rolled my eyes at my mother and consequently couldn't sit down for a week.

The horror show continued. The mother, who had to be the biggest wuss on the planet, sat there, her eyes bugged out staring at this little demon as he spewed out his venom. "Shut up and listen to me!" he yells at her. "I'm trying to speak! You let me talk!."

She makes an attempt to speak..."Listen, you say I am not the boss of you..."

He interrupts, "No, you listen! I accidentally touched you with my elbow and then you went 'Wham' and hit me with your elbow. You actually left a mark on my arm and it stayed there for about twenty minutes!"

I'm thinking, if this kid were mine and he talked to me like that he'd be lucky to have an arm left, or a leg. And his head wouldn't be sitting on straight either. I'm telling you, dear hearts, I've never seen anything like it. This mother tried again. "You say I'm not the boss of you (she's really not a good conversationalist) but I am the boss of you." The kid pokes his lips out and folds his arms across his chest.

"Your teachers are the boss of you, too," she said meekly.

Then the little hellion starts again, "Shut up I said! Listen to me!"; then he leans over, flings his arm in a full arc and open-palmed, smacks her right across the cheek!!

Do you understand what I just said? This eight year old boy coldcocked his own mother on national television.

"There! How does that feel?" he shouted. "Huh? Huh? How does that make you feel?"

Dear Hearts, if I could have gone through the television that kid would have been a grease spot on the floor before he could have said "Two Big Macs with cheese."

And do you know what the mother's response to the slap was? Very slowly and quietly (again, I'm not making this up) she says, "Do...not...put...your...hands...on..me. Do you understand me?"

"Shut up! Do you understand ME?" yells the kid at the top of his lungs. "It's the only way I can get your attention!"

Okay, a few questions. Where was Dr. Phil when all this was happening and did they actually think Dr. Phil could be of help to this family? Had they exhausted all means of psychiatric assistance beforehand? Where was the father who spawned this child? Where is the child now? I would hope that if anybody within 50 feet of this debacle had a brain, then he is in some sort of Youth Detention Center getting some major counseling and, for his own good and the good of society, his butt tanned.

We wonder what has happened to our public schools. Why have the students gone wild? Why are so many students out of control? Why are we not allowed to discipline them anymore?

It's because parents like this dimwitted, gutless mother allow their children leeway they would never have had thirty years ago. Our teachers are no longer in charge of the classroom in many cases. Now a parent has the right to sign a form stating that his/her child may not be paddled at school. Sadly, the students on that list are invariably the worst behaved kids in the classroom so what are teachers to do?

To their credit, some parents hold fast to the notion that the teacher, as the adult, is still the disciplinarian and uphold any correction the teacher deems necessary to keep students in check. In other words...they feel like a lot of old-timers who say, "You get a spanking at school, young man, you'll get another one when you get home!" Bully for those parents.

And don't come crying to me with "Aw, you don't understand. That teacher physically abuses her students; she's not doing that to mine."

Listen friend, if there are teachers out there who physically abuse students who misbehave (and I seriously doubt it) then fire them. How difficult is that? Why throw out the whole barrel because of one bad apple? If a student insists on disrupting the classroom, for goodness sake, allow the teacher to discipline him. If we don't, we'll continue to reap a harvest of teenagers and adults who have no respect for human life or private property.

And for the record, it is ridiculous to equate a child who has been swatted on the butt with one who has been stomped, scalded, or punched. Dr. Diana Baumrind, a psychologist at the University of California at Berkeley, followed 164 middle-class families from the time their children were in preschool until they reached their twenties.

She found that most used some form of corporal punishment. She further found that, contrary to what we've been told for years, giving a child a spanking (defined as openhanded swats on the backside, arms, or legs) does not leave the child scarred for life. The central tenet of family life, as it is in the classroom, has to be: adults in charge.

Ultimately, it probably doesn't matter whether the tenet is enforced by spanking or other corrective measures, so long as it is enforced. As a society we seem to have forgotten that the family (or the school) is not a democracy...it is a benign dictatorship. Is it any wonder many of our children are brats?

Maybe it's not so much, to spank or not to spank, but just: "Who's in charge here?"

Oh, I understand that some of you dear hearts think it's abuse to give a child a good swat on the behind. Fine, it's a free country. Think what you will.

I, however, after seeing the video of the 8-year-old loose cannon who slapped his mother, am convinced it's abuse when you don't.

Happy Fathers Day.