Across The Savannah

(Editor's Note: The World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party forced Tom to write his column early this week.)

I hear we have to elect a president. I'll vote and I'll stay up and watch the election results November 4, though watching paint dry might prove more entertaining. I don't like politics and this election aggravates me to no end. I've never seen a more polarizing election. Count me among the jaded voters who are tired of unfulfilled promises.

Georgia was among the first states to let people vote at eighteen. I've been voting for presidents for 41 years now, and frankly I'm tired of it. Sure, people in other countries would love to have my opportunity, and I'm glad to be an American. The truth is I lost interest in presidential elections a long time ago for two reasons: One, the nation's brightest minds never bother with politics. It's more rewarding to be a tenured professor or a greedy CEO who skims millions each year rather than the measly $400,000 the president gets. Of course, being president does open doors to lucrative smoky back-room deals and big-time book contracts.

Two, I can't think of a president who has made a difference in my life I can point to other than Richard Nixon, and I didn't vote for him. The draft lottery he instituted gave me a high number and I never had to worry about Vietnam, though my grades suffered. But maybe just maybe that lottery saved my life.

I know many of you will stay up and watch the results come in. A lot of Americans will literally lose sleep election night but there's nothing new about that. We Americans are one sleep-deprived bunch and the pharmaceutical companies have long cleaned up on our struggles with the sandman.

Back in the 1950s, a TV jingle aired in a simpler time when getting a good night's rest was easier. "Take Sominex tonight and sleep ... safe and restful sleep, sleep, sleep." In this new century of 24-7 demands, getting a good night's sleep is harder than ever, and then we have all these political issues to worry about on top of everything else.

The average American man will live approximately 73 years, the average woman close to 80 years. With sleep experts recommending seven to nine hours sleep a night that computes into 239,805 hours of sleep for men and 262,800 hours of sleep for women. That's 27 to 30 years of sleep … or a whole lot of tossing and turning.

No one knows for sure why we need sleep. This much we do know. Go just one night without sleep and concentration becomes difficult. Pile up sleepless nights, and language, memory, and your sense of time shut down. Adequate sleep is essential to memory and effective thinking. So here's hoping the newest crop of socalled leaders will get adequate shuteye for our sake. The last thing we need is a president asleep at the wheel, although some believe that's what we've had for a while now. It's hard to imagine our busy elected officials getting that much sleep though. That might mean missing a few of those infamous Washington, DC, parties. A lot of things besides parties, though, can ruin a night's sleep. Ever lay awake at night contemplating some wrong you've done? I bet you have.

You've heard of the AK-47, the world's most popular assault weapon. The AK-47 has been a mainstay in wars, coups, terrorist attacks, robberies, and mayhem the world over. More than 100 million AK-47s have been manufactured. Who knows how many innocent people AK-47s have killed. Asked if he stays awake at night horrified over what his invention has done to innocent people, weapons inventor Mikhail Kalashnikov was quick to answer. "I sleep well. It's the politicians who are to blame for failing to come to an agreement and resorting to violence."

As they say, guns don't kill people. People do. I've never heard a journalist ask a president if he sleeps well at night after a shameful day but I'd love to hear one respond. But why expect a straight answer from a slick politician. I can hear the answer now: "I believe sleep is every American's right. Sleep helps us to know day from night, and I am proud to state that I actually invented sleep."

Thomas R. Marshall, United States vice president (1913-1921 under Woodrow Wilson), said, "What this country needs is a good five-cent cigar." What it really needs are people who sleep better, think more clearly, and make better decisions.

With age comes experience and with experience most things get easier: most things except sleep. Some wit said insomnia is not worth losing sleep over. Well neither is it worth losing sleep over your political differences with your friends, family, and neighbors. By now the people have spoken. Here's hoping we all sleep better in the days to come and get on with the business of freedom because no matter who won, Kalashnikov's AK 47s are out there in the hands of our enemies and there are some bad guys eager to gun us down. Whoever won better be one tough hombre who can withstand a lot of sleepless nights because he will be tested. In fact, we all will.

Email Tom with feedback and ideas for new columns. tompol@ earthlink.net