Every mother has her own repertoire of sayings that she uses to teach her children how to become strong, responsible adults. Concise, catchy phrases fraught with meaning. Not even Henny Youngman has as many one-liners as my mother.

I don't know how many of them are original with Mama but I suspect she learned quite a few from her mama, who learned them from hers, who learned them from hers….and so on. You get the picture.

The scary part is this: sayings my mother used on me and that used to grate on my nerves something fierce are now coming out of my own mouth…and at rapid speed! I have been brainwashed. It's official. I have become my mother.

Don't laugh, dear hearts. If you haven't looked into your mirror yet and seen your mother staring back at you, you will. It's inevitable. All girls become their mothers sooner or later and all boys their fathers. It's the law.

Sayings, or "momisms" as some call them, change from generation to generation so don't be surprised to hear yourself tell your son one day, "That girl's dress is tighter'n Dick's hatband" and see him look at you like he's sizin' you up for a straight jacket.

My mother used to tell my sister and me, "This room looks like the wreck of the Hesperus!" Never once did we ask what the heck a hesperus was, we just knew by the tone of her voice that whatever it was, it wasn't good.

And yes, one fine day when my boys were about six and three, I lit into them with the same line. "Get back in that room. You're not going anywhere. That room looks like the wreck of the hesperus!" Only this time, kid # 1 says, "Mama, what's a hex-pa-rus?"

I had to look it up. Now you will, too.

All of you have you own set of momisms, I'm sure, and they probably sound a lot like mine. Here are a few that have been handed down in my family:

If your friends jumped off a bridge, would you do it, too?

But I'm not everybody's else's mama, I'm your mama.

Don't pick at it. It'll get infected. Don't use that tone with me.

Don't roll those eyes at me.

You'd better wipe that smile off your face before I wipe it off for you.

Close that door. Were you born in a barn?

That woman's dirt rich and dollar poor.

They've got more money than they've got sense.

I would never have talked to my mother like that!

Are you going out dresssed like THAT?

Don't sit close to the TV. It'll ruin your eyes.

Don't make me stop this car.

Nobody ever said life was fair.

There are always people worse off than you are. Try and help them.

I'll treat you like an adult when you start acting like one.

I didn't ask who put it there. I asked you to pick it up.

Wait 'til your daddy gets home.

Bit dog always hollers.

You WILL eat it and you WILL like it.

You didn't learn that in THIS house!

LOOK at me when I'm talking to you.

It's no use crying over spilt milk.

If it'd been a snake, it would have biten you.

How do you know you don't like it if you haven't tasted it?

Her mama treats her like a redheaded step-child.

Don't count your chickens before they hatch.

I hope you have children that act just like you.

So it's raining. You're not made of sugar. You won't melt.

Beds are not made for jumpin' on.

Don't go out with a wet head. You'll catch cold.

Enough is enough.

Well, people in Hell want ice water, too.

Because I said so, that's why.

Always wear clean underwear in case you get into a wreck.

And a few more that always bring a tear to my eye:

You will always be my baby no matter how old you get.

I am so proud of you.

I just want what's best for you. Call me collect when you get there.

Be good.

Remember who you are and where you come from.

The Bible says "A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches." Don't ever forget that.

Here, take this and spend it on yourself.

I love you and always will.

Let's all meet at the Pearly Gates. TO MY MAMA, AND TO ALL YOU DEAR-HEART-MAMAS…HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!